my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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