Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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