I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
It's just like the Real World with babies
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
