Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
