i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize