"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
foreskin is a definite game changer
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
