I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Semen is not good for contacts.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize