I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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