brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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