and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
