Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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