There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
