just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
