a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just high enough for therapy.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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