I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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