I am puke
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Randomize
