i barfeds in our rink
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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