i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
