please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
