is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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