All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
