her vagine was all disorganized.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
