We got so high we made milksteak
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
