i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
