so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
