i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize