Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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