Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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