i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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