Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
