Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize