hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
