Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
