is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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