My brain says no but my pants say off.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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