Your tits are I can't wait for
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
