I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I have tasted many bathrooms
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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