k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We left the knife in your bed.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
