Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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