What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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