Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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