The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
