Dual....:-)
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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