just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
