I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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