Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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