i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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