Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
