my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
