I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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