the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
