I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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