i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
