This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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