I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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