Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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