so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
